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Miss Emma Dilemma: Boundaries

"I’ve tried to establish boundaries with people in my life, but when they go ignored, I don’t know what to do next. What would you suggest?"

It’s important to recognize why those boundaries might be ignored. Determine what part you and the person in your life have taken in these exchanges.

  • Have you clearly stated the boundary in question and how it feels when that boundary is not respected? Sometimes a boundary that is very clear in our mind is not as clear to the other person, and sometimes it takes a little extra effort to establish this.

o For example: “I feel overwhelmed when you ask me to finish a task right before the deadline. Can we work together to communicate a week before something is due next time?” or “It makes me feel unappreciated when you speak over me. I would appreciate if you could let me finish speaking before you add to my point.”

  • If the boundary has been clearly established, is the person willing to accept and uphold this boundary with you? It can be hard to accept, but some people are not going to respect your boundaries the way that you’d like them to.

Appreciate yourself for sticking to your boundaries and bring compassion to the areas that may need extra effort. It can be very challenging if you feel that someone may not be willing to respect your boundaries. A good place to start is to recognize what your next options are because a violation of boundaries can look and feel different depending on the relationship you have . Some options could be that you spend less time with this person, reach out to human resources at work, or end the relationship altogether. It is likely that no option will feel good, but respect and kindness for yourself will always make you feel better long-term.


About the Author

Miss Emma Dilemma

Hey everyone, I am Miss Emma Dilemma from Healthy U! I am here to help answer your student related health and wellness questions and get you out of your dilemma!

Keep an eye on our Instagram page @healthyuofm for the next time we start accepting inquiries for each topic!

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