Choosing You First: A Self-love Guide
- Genevive
- Sep 26
- 4 min read
Have you ever felt like you are constantly giving to friends, classes or work, yet forgetting yourself? Do you sometimes push your own needs aside just to keep up with deadlines or avoid letting others down? The truth is, it’s easy to lose yourself in the busy pace of student life. But choosing yourself doesn’t mean you’re selfish, it means you’re making sure your well-being doesn’t get lost in the shuffle.
Choosing yourself means recognizing your worth, respecting your needs, and putting your well-being first. It is the foundation of healthy growth and relationships. This is not a one-time achievement but an ongoing practice that shapes how you live and connect with others. The more you commit to it, the stronger and more balanced you’ll feel.
The good news is self-love doesn’t have to be complicated. It’s built through daily choices that support your well-being. To help you begin, here are six practical ways to put yourself first and develop a healthier, more confident relationship with yourself. Think of these steps as gentle reminders or small choices that can help you feel more grounded, valued, and at peace with yourself each day.
Identify and Embrace Your Strengths: Many of us are quick to focus on flaws while overlooking our strengths. Taking time to reflect on your abilities, talents, and positive qualities helps build self-confidence. If this feels difficult, writing a list or asking trusted friends for input can give you perspective. Embracing your strengths doesn’t mean ignoring your weaknesses but instead, acknowledging your value. The more you recognize what you bring to the table, the easier it becomes to practice self-love.
Practice Self-compassion: Being kind to yourself is essential when you face setbacks, mistakes, or insecurities. Instead of harsh criticism, offer yourself the same understanding you would give a friend. This shift in mindset builds a healthier, more positive self-image. Self-compassion reminds you that mistakes are part of growth, not proof of failure. With practice, it helps you become more resilient and less dependent on external validation.
Set Healthy Boundaries: Boundaries protect your time, energy, and emotional well-being. They aren’t walls to shut people out but guidelines that show others how to respect you. By being clear about what you can and cannot give, you reduce misunderstandings and maintain healthier relationships. Boundaries also give you the freedom to say “no” without guilt and “yes” with confidence. Ultimately, they help you build connections that are balanced, respectful, and supportive.
Prioritize Self-care: Self-care goes beyond pampering. It’s about nourishing yourself in meaningful ways. Activities like exercising, journaling, meditating, or spending time with loved ones all count as self-care. The goal is to regularly invest in practices that restore your mind, body, and spirit. When you make self-care a priority, you send yourself the message that your well-being matters. Over time, these habits help you feel more balanced and energized.
Set Realistic Expectations: Self-love includes creating goals that are achievable and meaningful. Setting unrealistic standards can lead to disappointment and self-doubt, while realistic goals help build trust in yourself. Each time you follow through, you reinforce your self-worth and confidence. Start small to make progress steady and sustainable. Over time, consistent achievements add up to a stronger sense of pride and fulfillment.
Write Down Your Accomplishments: Celebrating progress, no matter how small, is a powerful way to shift focus from what’s wrong to what’s going well. Writing down your accomplishments reminds you of your growth and keeps negative self-talk in check. These lists can include simple things like practicing patience, taking care of your health, or sticking to boundaries. Over time, acknowledging these wins helps rewire your brain to expect success. This habit builds a hopeful mindset and encourages ongoing self-love.
Choosing yourself first isn’t just a one-time decision, it’s a journey you commit to every day. By identifying your strengths, showing yourself compassion, setting healthy boundaries, practicing self-care, and forgiving past mistakes, you build a foundation of genuine self-love. This practice isn’t about shutting others out but about ensuring you don’t lose yourself while caring for those around you. Each step, whether it’s listening to your inner voice or celebrating small wins, moves you closer to a more confident and fulfilled version of yourself. Embrace this journey with patience, knowing that every choice to honor your worth brings you closer to living a life that feels truly your own.
FURTHER READING
REFERENCES
Gillette, H. (2019, May 31). Practicing Self-Love to Improve Well-Being. Psych Central. https://psychcentral.com/health/what-is-self-love-and-why-is-it-so-important
Daniel, Luis. The Importance of Self-Love: A Path to Personal Transformation. 13 Oct. 2024, www.researchgate.net/publication/384870580_The_Importance_of_Self-Love_A_Path_to_Personal_Transformation.
The Power of Self-Love. (2023). Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/conquering-codependency/202306/the-power-of-self-love?msockid=2c6a3e7a7f606e1e23a52d267e0f6f69
About the Author
Genevive (she/her)
Hello! My name is Genevive, and I am the Student Wellness Program Assistant. I am a final year Psychology major student with a minor in Biological Sciences. I am very passionate about mental health and wellness, and I love being part of spaces that support students' well-being. When I am not studying, you can usually find me out in nature, travelling, trying out new spots, or spending time with my friends and family.