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Dec 18, 20244 min read

Not Going Home for the Holidays? Embrace It!

With the holiday season, you may be getting the question “so, what are you doing for the holidays?” over and over again. For those not going home for the holidays, this may feel uncomfortable. First and foremost, know that you do not owe anyone an explanation as to why you’re not going home. You may be financially unable to, you may not be close to your family, or perhaps it simply did not work out this year due to other obligations (i.e., like work). Of course, because of this, family may be upset and/or you may be lonely, therefore this blog post is to address these.


Dealing with Family


For some people, going to see family is something that they look forward to all semester, but for others that is not the case. When making the choice to not go home for the holidays remember these things:


  1. Be Firm in Your Decision – Setting boundaries can be tough, especially with family; however, because of this, it is even more important to be clear about boundaries and expectations about not going home for the holidays. Make sure it is clear to your family that you are definitely not going home for the holidays, whatever the reason, so the conversation of going home for the holidays does not continuously happen.

  2. Only Give a Simple Explanation – you do not need to explain yourself fully, even though communication is important. If you know that the full explanation will cause more stress or hurt someone’s feelings and you cannot deal with that, it is okay to opt-out and offer a simple explanation.

  3. Acknowledge Family Disappointment and Excuse Yourself From Guilt – It is natural for family to respond with disappointment when you do not go home for the holidays (again, whatever the reason), but that does not mean you should feel guilty. Prioritizing your finances, physical health, mental health, or overall wellbeing is important, and it is courageous to be able to do so. Additionally, other people’s disappointment is not your burden to carry.

  4. Your Emotional Health Comes First – Making the choice to prioritize yourself is not easy, especially when it comes to family. Choosing to prioritize your emotions is not selfish and only you are in control of your decisions

  5. Suggest an Alternative Time or Place – if you do really want to see your family, but you’re unavailable for the holidays or the holiday season is too emotionally charged, perhaps suggesting an alternative day or activity would be good. Communicating this to your family may help ease their disappointment and help you feel more in control of the situation.


Dealing with Loneliness


No matter the reason as to why you are not going home for the holidays, the season can feel lonely. There are so many expectations pushed my popular media that the holiday season is “family time,” and breaking those expectations can feel uncomfortable and (sometimes) sad. Therefore, here are some tips AND some things to do at the University of Manitoba’s Fort Garry Campus/in Winnipeg this holiday season.


Loneliness Tips


  1. Rethink Expectations – The absence of family or a romantic partner is magnified this time of year but understand that these “movie standards” are unattainable for most. You are not alone in being alone this holiday season.

  2. Examine your feelings – Understanding your feelings is one of the first ways to making yourself feel better, and when going into a new year, this can help you figure out what you wish to prioritize.

  3. Give to others (if you can) – If possible, giving to others is a great way to feel less lonely. It reminds you of what you can be grateful for and make you feel connected to your community. Additionally, this does not need to be extravagant – perhaps dropping off cookies for a neighbor is all it takes.


Things to do on Campus OR Around Winnipeg this Holiday Season:


  • UM Residence Events (for time and location, see @uofmresidence on Instagram):

    • December 20th, 2024 – Cozy vibes and festive fun

    • December 21st, 2024 – Hot Chocolate & Movie Night

    • December 22nd, 2024 – A Cozy Christmas Evening

    • December 23rd, 2024 – Hot Chocolate Movie Night

  • Events around Winnipeg (for more information, see appropriate links in resources)

    • December 20th, 2024 – Sustainability Tour at The Leaf – FREE tour exploring the sustainability features of The Leaf

    • December 26th, 2024 - Dome@Home Planetarium Series – FREE virtual programming where you can learn about the stars

    • Fridays and Saturdays of December 2024 – Fort Whyte Alive events – head on over to Fort Whyte for some outdoor events!

    • Throughout December 2024 – Celebrate the season at the Dalnavert Museum & Visitors Centre – various events throughout December

    • Through December 2024 to January 4th, 2025 – Canad Inns Winter Wonderland – Manitoba’s largest drive-thru light show with over one million lights!

    • Through December 2024 to January 5th, 2025 – Zoo Lights – See dazzling light displays and other attractions at the Assiniboine Park Zoo


Resources


 

About the Author


Ashley (she/her)

Hi! My name is Ashley, and I am the Student Wellness Program Assistant. I am currently finishing up my final year in the Honours Psychology Program with a minor in Anthropology. I am passionate about the health and wellness of my communities and learning about how to improve the system to better serve these communities. Outside of work and school, I enjoy painting, reading, swimming, and spending time with my dog.

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